Play Catalogue

Just launched my playwright website — a home for my plays about life, death, and everything in between. Scripts, synopses, and what I’ve been up to lately. Take a look: playwright.richhelms.ca

Snow Snakes

Ever been skiing down the hill-the snow superb, sunny skies, you’re in your best form-and then for no apparent reason to yourself, you fell? I bet you figured that you made a mistake like catching an edge, right? Wrong! A well kept secret can finally be revealed. You were probably the victim of a “Snow Snake.”

Impossible, you say? Well, let me tell you about the incredible varmint. Snow snakes, scientifically known as “Eatumupus Skius,” are all white and hide on ski stopes. You’ve never seen one? I don’t wonder, see how well they hide? They are often found hiding under rocks. I bet the last time you ran over a rock you thought it marked your bases.

Wrong again. Actually you awoke a Snow Snake who quickly came up and bit your skis. Still don’t believe me? Well, look at your skis. See all those scratches? Snow Snake bites.

Never heard of them? See now well we kept the secret? Let me go on. Snow Snakes prefer a diet of new skis and are more vicious early in the season when they prey or skiers who aren’t in shape yet. They especially like the new clear racing bases where they try to “eat your words” off the skis.

But fret not, for there is a cure for Snow Snake bite. Go directly to the lodge, do not pass the ski shop and pour yourself a tall drink. This gives you body a rest and your mouth exercise in telling everyone about your dramatic fight with nature on the hill.

Still a doubter? Well, the only other answer is that you did make a mistake-but, that couldn’t be! Till next week Good Skiing and watch out for Snow Snakes.

I wrote this piece for the Burlington Gazette in 1975 while working at the Cedar Springs Ski Shop. That is me doing a tip roll.

Dear Angie – Cast

Yesterday, my wife and I attended a rehearsal of our play "Dear Angie" performed by Theatre on the Ridge. We were impressed with their interpretation and are looking forward to seeing it on Saturday May 11 - Program B.

Port Perry Snapshots Short Play Festival
Program A - May 10, 7:30 pm
Program B - May 11, 2 pm
Port Perry Anglican Church of the Ascension 266 North St., Port Perry, ON

Like Dear Abby, diner owner Angie dishes out food and advice to her patrons based on their needs and wants, not a menu — that is, until she meets a guest she can’t read.

Angie - Barb Clifford is an award-winning actress and has performed across the GTA and Durham in film, television, voice, and stage. Selected credits include Violet in August: Osage County (WCT), Rose in Les Belles Soeurs and Nurse Ratched in One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest (OLT), Margaret in Northern Lights (Theatre on the Bay), Carla in Surrender, Dorothy (Alumnae Theatre), The Actress/Lizzie in Blood Relations (ESP), Janet in Waiting for the Parade (SP), Florence in The Odd Couple: Female Version, Adrienne in A Bench in the Sun, Theda in It Had To Be You, & Lexie in The Sweet Delilah Swim Club (HG).

Donna - Carey Nicholson is a graduate of George Brown College and the School of the Toronto Dance Theatre (STDT) professional dance programs, and a past faculty member at STDT. She has been involved with community and professional theatre companies in Durham, York region and elsewhere in many capacities, primarily as board member, producer, director, choreographer, performer, instructor, set and costume designer. Her past, and ongoing, theatre studies include programs and courses with George Brown College, Toronto Dance Theatre, Tarragon Theatre, the Stratford Festival, Off The Wall Theatre Alliance, and as an auditing director with Obsidian Theatre in 2018.

Michael - Graeme Powell is an actor, playwright and video editor. He has performed in several Theatre on the Ridge productions since the company’s launch in 2014, including Vimy and The Play’s The Thing and is a regular member of our scenario training ensemble. Graeme has also created the script adaptations used in our Pine Grove Plots cemetery walks and has had several plays produced in Port Perry and elsewhere, including Renovations, All Together Now, and Palmer Park.

Andy - Conrad Boyce is a native Albertan, and lived many years in both B.C. and the Yukon before emigrating to Ontario in 1995. I became involved in the Uxbridge arts community almost immediately but was obliged to work elsewhere until I became the founding editor/publisher of the Cosmos in 2005. Among the other local writing projects I’m most proud of are Maud of Leaskdale, the one-woman play I created for the LMMSO in Leaskdale, and Jewel on the Hill, the book about the Thomas Foster Memorial I wrote in 2014. 

Dear Angie – Short Play

“This year it’s time for Food For Thought”

Theatre on the Ridge is a not for profit professional theatre company performing throughout the year in Port Perry, Scugog Township and the Durham Region. The Port Perry Snapshots Short Play Festival is an annual playwriting competition presented by Theatre on the Ridge to foster the development of local playwrights. In 2024, as this year’s source of inspiration, we recognize and celebrate some of Scugog’s diverse dining establishments as we explore the theme of food under the theme of Food for Thought.

Our play, Dear Angie, was selected and will be performed on SATURDAY MAY 11TH – PROGRAM B.

Port Perry Snapshots Short Play Festival
Program A - May 10, 7:30 pm
Program B - May 11, 2 pm
Port Perry Anglican Church of the Ascension 266 North St., Port Perry, ON

Details on the festival and tickets


Like Dear Abby, diner owner Angie dishes out food and advice to her patrons based on their needs and wants, not a menu — that is, until she meets a guest she can’t read.

Stage Play Script Template

This post is from Jan 2023. Since then I have tuned and worked on various plays as well as stage play templates.

Go to https://playwright.richhelms.ca/standard-play-script-formats/ for most recent

Cares Monologues

For the George Brown College Playwriting course, we were asked to write several short monologues. These three monologues are short dialogues of myself discussing the CARES system for aging missing children by computer.

CARES (Computer Assisted Recovery Enhancement System), a computer system for aging missing children announced on July 4, 1986, was a joint project between the Metropolitan Toronto Police and IBM Canada Lab. CARES was the first computer-based child-aging system in the world. View CARES details and press coverage


1. Monologue – CARES

Picture it, 1986. Jim Clark was head of the Youth Bureau of the Metro Toronto Police, the organization that finds missing kids. The challenge was finding kids that had gone missing for years. His artist wife Betté was working with a doctor at Sick Kids Hospital learning how kids age.

The Mouse on the Moon – Stageplay

On July 20, 1969 two spacecraft landed in the Sea of Tranquility

one from the most powerful nation on earth, the United States, the other from the smallest, the Duchy of Grand Fenwick.

Who got there first?


Adapted by Rich Helms from the book The Mouse on the Moon by Leonard Wibberley

© 2021 by Rich Helms
CIPO ref# 1188353
ISBN: 978-0-9938829-4-4
www.richhelms.ca/themouseonthemoon/

Music: “The Complex” and “Marty Gots a Plan” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

Clarion Turf Racing Photo Wins Honourable Mention

Today my photo “Clarion Turf Racing” won the honourable mention at the SPARK Photo Festival Themed Juried Show. The theme this year was “Motion.” I originally shot this as a Kodachrome slide in 1970 at a race in Clarion, PA with a Russian Zenit-E 35mm camera.

The Zenit-E was just about the most manual camera ever. You even had to manually close the iris before pressing the shutter. I found the slide a few years ago while scanning with a slide scanner. It could scan with high enough resolution to print at 11×17 at 300 dpi in 48 bit colour. With photoshop I could pull out the detail and colours as well as clean up dust and such. When I heard the theme was “motion,” I immediately thought of this race.

I am so honoured to receive an Honourable Mention. I am privileged to be included in such a remarkable group of photographers.

Announcement Video


My announcement starts at 1:20

Mentos in Diet Coke

Did the classic Mentos in a bottle of Diet Coke for the grandkids. Dropped about 6 Mentos in. The video was shot with an iPhone 11 at 1080P 240 fps slow-motion. I thought it worked rather well. Diet Coke was used so there is no sugar mess left.

Rich Helms’ Farewell When He Left IBM in 1997

Recently while cleaning up my computer I found my farewell speech when I left IBM. I forgot many of these things I did. It is an interesting read.